Sunday, August 3, 2008

Buggers,Crooks And Scoundrels

Hantu Laut

The quintessential existence of our lives is the quietism of human behaviour.From the sublime to the ridiculous, we either accept human weaknesses with an open heart or let ourselves be mired in anger and hatred.

It takes all kinds that make this eternal sphere a joyous place to live in or a mirthless place of disappointment and misanthropic existence.

I received a letter from one Mrs Gloria Caldwell who is suffering from terminal cancer of the breast and would like to give away her inheritance to any good soul that can response to her appeal.

Below is Mrs Caldwell's letter and my response.

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I came across your email contact from my personal search and I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before I will die.

 I am Mrs. Gloria Caldwell from LONDON, I am 58 years old, and I am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond next month, this is because the cancer stage has reached a critical stage. I was brought up in a motherless baby’s home, and was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child. My husband and I are true Christians, but quite unfortunately, he died in a fatal motor accident.

 Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $3.2 Million dollars with a Financial Security Company. Presently, this money is still in their custody, and the management just wrote me as the legitimate depositor to inform me of the maturity date of my deposit or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over as a result of my illness, or they get it confiscated. Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

 It is my last wish to see that this money is invested in any organization of your choice and proceeds distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless baby’s orphanage homes and widows around. I must let you know that this was a very hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option. I hope you will help see my last wishes come true.

 As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company. I will also issue you a letter of authority, which will prove that you are the new beneficiary of my funds. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hope to hear from you soonest.

Please if you are really touched with my story and wish to assist me in getting this project done write via this email here:

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Gloria Caldwell

My reply below:

Dear Mrs Gloria Caldwell,

Thank you for your letter and would like to convey my heartfelt condolence to you of your forthcoming demise.This is to inform you that I accept your generous offer and would be happy if you could remit the money to the following account:

Name of account holder: God
Account No. 0000
Name of bank:Celestial Bank Of The Universe

I would like to apologise for the pain and suffering you have endured the past few years as punishment of your evil ways.Since you have repented by showing remorse and taken to charity I have decided to stop the pain and suffering by taking your life immediately after you remit the money to me.

Your immediate action would be much appreciated.--------------------

Best regards

I am sure many of you would have received such letters recently or in the past.

It is amazing how the dark continent seems to produce endless number of this type of morons who think the whole wide world is made up of idiots like them. 

Nigeria seems to top the list.It probably has the highest number of conman per capita in the whole world.

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